The Freakies aren't dead. They were just resting.
It was the strangest thing, really. There the Freakies were, just bowling side-by-side on
their seven little lanes. Cowmumble had just thrown a strike in spite of her abysmal (that
means really bad) form and that had caused Gargle to begin formulating what is now a
universally accepted equation; Ignorance X Chance squared equals Success. Or, as it is
commonly known, s = ic2.
Anyway, just as he was getting a really fine intellectual grip on his theory, all the
Freakies began getting groggy and foggy. Soon they had slipped into the alpha state which
most of us know as that really goofy time right before you fall asleep. And that’s
what they did. Fall asleep, I mean. Because everyone knows it’s just a hop, skip and
a drool from the alpha state to deep sleep. And so, the Freakies slept. Boy, did they
sleep. History tells us they had the longest REM periods ever recorded. (REM means Rapid
Eye Movement and it’s when you have your most interesting dreams. So they
must’ve had some whoppers!)
Then, too, there was the snoring. History doesn’t tell us exactly how bad it was but
drawings on cave walls indicate that the Freakies’ snores cleared out a whole forest
and a nearby mountain range. And they kept this up for 25 years!
Then one day, as if by magic, they awoke, feeling refreshed and ready for fun. And
somehow, in all their years of sleep they hadn’t aged a day.
Finding themselves in 1998 was a little disorienting (that means confusing) but they soon
adjusted to computers, cell phones, CDs and the Spice Girls. (Although that last one was a
little hard at first.) And when they found out about the Internet - well, that was it.
They set up a website lickety-split.
And unless I’m very much mistaken, that’s where you find yourself right now. And
I hope that’s where you’ll find yourself again and again. Because as time goes
on, the Freakies will be recounting some of their early adventures as well as some of
those whopper dreams. ( After 25 years, they’ve got a lot of material.)
So please come back whenever you can...
Copyright ©1998 The Freakies Company.
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